Vibes And Pressure

I am the face in the mirror that u never want 2 c, I am the man on the dark side of the moon. I am that which u love 2 hate, the road that u tread, the abyss. I am called Scourge, the reflection of yr goodness. The stone the mason rejected.

I am the myth that excited yr fantasies, and the bogey man creeping at the edge of yr nightmares. I was clueless 2 yr civility, let loose in my corner of the world. I served no purpose 2 u, useless, occupying space bt not paying my way. I was a curiosity, something just as u r… bt not, less than… somehow. I was that upon which kingdoms were built, empires forged, the shoulders that yr giants needed 2 stand on.

I was yr fuel, the engine that drove yr success, the unnamed hand, the unknown warrior who won yr wars. I was the discarded armour of your defence, the sword that u beat into a ploughshare. I was the hewer of wood and the drawer of water. I was the heathen in need of yr deliverance. The fact of my existence proved 2 u the goodness of yrs, the truth of my origin revealed the fallacy and baseness of yr own, and even tho my reality made yrs possible, I needed 2 b kept in place, underfoot. I learned 2 b thankful 4 this, reverent, understanding that all this was part of the gr8r whole and assured of yr righteousness. I wanted 2 b u, bt clued 2 the fact that I cld never attain ascension in this life, comforted that my reward awaited me beyond. I was the darkness in u made manifest. My voice screamed yr name, even as I had no name of my own. The savagery with which u showed me what my place and purpose was, that was justified bcos this was the only way 2 bring me yr culture, yr sophistication and yr salvation.

Somehow, I desired more, even when I knew this was a dream unattainable. I knew my place was below yrs, bt questioned why yr blood was as red as mine. The old answers no longer held water, the foundations were found 2 b feet of clay, and the strength of yr words became mud. The strength I gave in yr servitude, the strength that u took 4 yrself, was slowly becoming my own. Yet I was bound in my physicality. I fought and raged, pleaded and reasoned, slowly freeing myself. I had overcome… bt u had other plans 4 me. Whereas 1ce I was broken, all alpha forcibly removed, I became… broke, the physical bounds replaced by the social, economic, the academic.

My miseducation and underdevelopment made me n2 the agent of my destruction, yr despise 4 me comparable only 2 my own self-hate, my fear holding me in my place while my love made me grateful 2 have a place at all. I sought out my status, my caste, my class. I was as nothing, educating my younger self in the art of nothing, yet as I wasted away, my woman strived, becoming superwoman, and did this as she carried twice the burden. The embers smoldered. I craved recognition, marched 4 it, sat 4 it, bled 4 it, was raped 4 it, starved 4 it. Even as I began 2 finally receive it, I tore down those whose light guided me 2 the new path. Yet I was still a prisoner 2 yr grand design, yr guiding hand bcoming ever more subversive. U handed me a new set of tools, and I, still believing in yr love, gladly accepted these gifts. My families imploded, my communities devolved n2 war zones.

Even as I had nowhere left 2 go, u still pushed. I pushed back, with bricks, sticks, slipping on yr spit. I pushed back, with the songs of my ancestors, spiritual songs forged in the night of my soul. I pushed with sounds dark and blue, with the horns of the Bird and the Monk. I slipped in yr spit and stood tall 2 spit rhymes. Beaten, I beat back with nyabinghi and 808’s. Divorced from my tongue, I took yrs and gave voice 2 soul, my darkness shining 2 all hidden corners. I enriched culture, redefined sophistication, gave salvation 2 yr expression. My contribution far outweighed my compensation, yet I’m still not given my recognition. I am that which u relocate with yr gentrification, yet I am still here The refused stone now the cornerstone. The embers lit with broken promises. The dream unattainable now a dream deferred.

I am the face u refuse 2 c, the screaming voice drowning out with yr platitudes. I am the bogeyman manifest, I am love. I am no longer the face in the mirror, I AM THE MIRROR. I am hope, I am faith, I am rage. I am Alpha and Omega. I am a million desolate souls, I am the streets. I am hip hop, I am rock and roll, the scream and the silence. I am the winter of yr discontent, I am the hand and the stone, hurtling 2 the glass house. Generations of breeding made me the superman I am still searching 4. The shine of my darkness will guide us all 2 the light. I am yr deliverance.

I am the hate that hate produced, I am… La Haine.


Corrd the Seeker.

Initially, I felt exhilarated and excited by the idea that Londoners were finally standing up and "raging against the machine", then I felt confused by the apparent extreme indiscriminate way in which the rage was being directed. I couldn't help but think if these "rioters" were focusing on the monuments of oppression and the systems of suppression then I could try to see the validity of their right to fight.

I had always thought that if a day ever came where we could find the thing that gave us the justification so that we all finally stood up and waged war on the structures which have manipulated and orchestrated destruction, then i would see the very edifices that have been the physical manifestation of these symbols fall but instead what i saw was the fall of "Carpet Right"!!

I mean seriously we can only blame ourselves if the message is being somehow lost in translation and the young people coming up have no idea of who and what are the representative of the social inequality which we are all currently living in. Burning local people's businesses and homes just doesn't make sense and to me felt like a real sickness within the psyche running within these communities. Self harm and self hate seem to be apparent in these acts. They are no different to black on black crime.

But let's be clear. We are not the first place to see unhappy citizens raging and rioting for something, i think that in this case no one is quite sure of what that something is, because it's certainly not just about getting some trainers from JD sports.

I, for one, am not jumping on the condemnation wagon because i was not unhappy to see the images of unruly streets and burning buildings. I’m aware that some of us though were secretly wishing that those burning buildings were the buildings representing the halls of power or seats of manipulation or oppression that affect many. Its probably an unpopular opinion but i'm gonna voice it cause its true that this is what some people have expressed.

Now when we look at the context to which these events occurred i feel like there are a number of questions which have to be asked. We live in one of the most watched cities in the world we have innumerable amount of CCTV monitoring our streets and yet they claim they were unable to predict or work out where the rioters were and send the police or fire services to appropriate locations to stop even one of these outbreaks so tell me why the hell we are spending hundreds of millions on these nanny services??

I also have to wonder in the absence of threats from terrorist groups, is this yet another plot to submerge us in the pit of fear and "cold war" tactics? I was wondering if they had sent some undercovers/plain clothes into the midst of these communities to be the trigger for the initial events and being mammals which adhered to the group mentality without thought or conscience. Trust me these tactics are used across the world and after the chaos and the dust settles no-one quite knows who threw the first stone.

and finally as ever the media has their own agenda on what angle their working and what view of the end greater agenda they are pushing the masses too, maybe all those legislation are getting dusty or their a new one waiting in the wings or they just need some form of justification for doing some other bullshit. It will come out in the wash maybe 50 years from now.

All i know is i was embarrassed not only by the rioters but by those of us who allowed the fear to enter and push us to transform our views and way of being to accommodate the mass hysteria which was actually changing the very taste of the air. Lets take a moment to not let the hype creep in and have us acting like fools and pleading for the government to water-canon childrena and bring in the army. These are our communities and our children, our neighbours, our families, our friends, our people and we should have all got together and gone out in mass and stopped what was happening rather than calling those outside of our communities to deal with those who are not just their responsibility.

If we don't want them to decide how to govern us then we have to show them that we can govern ourselves.

Parents are not only responsible for their children, the community has a hand in raising them too. I remember the days when if you were caught on street acting up by someone who knew your parents then you knew you were going home for tough times!! But i acknowledge that right about now we are deeply fragmented community from many different backgrounds but it's time to take it to the old school and start building a new understanding and representation of community to reflect these changing times but with some solid old school principles!!

Stepping down from my soapbox now :)

Chatter Boxx

Yes Iyah

Just wanted 2 give the I dem a quick shout out, I an'I realise that y’all really busy right know, doing all that “powers that b” stuff and whatnot, and I kno it’s been a hectic period, what with summering in the South of France, Tuscany and wherever, but I just wanted 2 let y’all kno that we down here in the trenches r supporting the skism.

C, I kno that over the past few days, the opium box has been flashing images of the yout’ dem seemingly out of control, rampaging and looting. And I kno that, bcos u love us so much and that u r only concerned abt the welfare of the yout’, that u had 2 put dem on lock down. I kno that the water canons y’all wanna bring out, whilst reminding us eerily of what u had 2 do back in the day 2 those of us of a darker hue (well, we didn’t kno our place then) r only bcos u wanna show that if we don’t play nice that we’ll b reminded that we r all disposable and that, well, a little shower never did any harm anyway. I also kno the the baton rounds ( or rubber bullets), whist they have been known 2 kill, r only there 4 the protection of our young people.

But, this is the ting… I kinda did tell y’all that this was coming. I wrote well over a year ago in the blog "Meanderings" abt how off key tings were, yet still y’all never holla'd back. I an' I kno dat u r telling us we have no right 2 feel the frustration and angst , even tho down here it’s like the air itself is almost 2 heavy 2 breathe. Not bcos some1 may not have the tools 2 articulate a feeling, that does not make that feeling less valid. But it's all love...

Now I kno it’s looks really dumb 4 the rioters 2 b burning down their own hoods, manors or ends, and I guess that’s why we need 2 b under even greater control. Even tho these ruffians c no reflection of themselves in the monuments and infrastructure around them, they shd have more civic pride, regardless of how little of said infrastructure is there 4 mental, emotional and spiritual upliftment. That’s not the point now, is it? They shd try harder 2 assimilate, as our Dear Leader did declare that multiculturalism is dead. He spoke the New Truth, so we shd all fall in line. I even heard the Dear Leader say that po-po have the power 2 now remove any face coverings at any time 4 any reason. I kno that even tho y’all wanted this 4 a long time, bcos let’s face it, some of these Muslim women r really scary, the recent events have helped 2 get this popping. Don’t say the yout’ dem never contribute.

Y’all had the good graces 2 give us phones and social media, and these ungrateful yout’ just abuse yr beneficence, and then end up in court. I also kno that y’all have been bringing in magistrates from outside the local jurisdictions, even tho the point of magistrates is that they kno, relate 2 and understand the peeps that stand b4 them bcos they r locally based an' so they understand local issues, but I guess even tho I don’t get it, it’s in our best interest. I kno some parents lament that they have so much less power 2 discipline their children, and that the kids have so much power of choice, but y’all did that in the best interest of us all, so I think they shd play their position and chill, y’all got this…

I did say in my blog "1 is a Symbolic Representation of an Idea" abt how the unheard who feel the hand of po-po in their lives may just wanna express their plight, but y’all did outline 2 every1 that any expression shd only take the forms laid down by yr good selves, so I can’t tell u what happened 2 the yout’s... I guess they didn’t read that memo, but they probably need re-education.

However, pls 4give me but I had a concern, hence the letter. I kno that all of y’all r very well educated, and kno all abt social issues, urban planning, psychology, all dat. I kno y’all get all these reports, and kno us all better than we kno ourselves. So I just wondered… y’all knew this was gonna happen, and yet u did nothing. I kno it’s not my place 2 question, and again I appreciate the business of yr good selves, but I just wondered...

I kno that it’s all in I an’ I best interest, and I kno y’all r only motivated by love 4 us all.

Thank u so much 4 allowing me 2 write 2 u, and if u seek me out, and kick off my door 4 “inciting” anything u don’t approve of then it’s only 4 my own good. The Lady of Iron said in ‘81, “nothing, but nothing, justifies what happened”, and there is no need 4 disobedience in our society, after all the youth dem have nothing 2 complain abt, really. Then again, she did also say there is “no such thing as society. There is the individual, their families, and the State”.

Bye 4 now, it’s all love from the trenches as we await further guidance.


Corrd the Seeker